We all need a Mentor in life

We walk on our path and there comes a time when we don't know where to look further. There are crossroads at times, obstacles looming over us and sometimes our own insecurities gnawing at us making us stand still. At that time, imagine an experienced, loving individual knowing our strengths and shortcomings walking toward us, holding our hand, and showing us the path ahead. Sounds awesome, doesn't it? Well, that person is our mentor. A mentor who believes in us invests time in us and with their vast background of knowledge shows numerous possibilities to rise. The rise may not always be professional but also personal. 

In 1997, I was going through a bitter divorce and times were tough. My parents were extremely supportive but the barrage of relatives throwing negative remarks was draining us of all hopes and peace. It was not allowing me to think of any kind of future. I felt I was sinking into a hole with no light at the end of the tunnel. I had lost confidence and began doubting myself. Suddenly my friends were no more inviting me, and my presence was not a requisite. At that time, my father called his sister, my beautiful aunt from Kolkatta known for her affable nature and immense positivity to come to Mumbai to take me to her place. She felt a change of place would do me good. Every day, she would share positive things about me like 'You are so intelligent, you can be anything; 'You are much stronger than you think you are; 'You have sharp features, anyone will love your looks'. Her ever-smiling face, seeing the good in people, and her belief that everything happens for a reason started rubbing off on me. 

Consistently, over two months, her words and actions started doing magic with me, I developed an inner strength to face the world with my head held high. I came back to Mumbai, started my studies again, and joined teaching as a profession. With every step, my confidence grew and I started experimenting and exploring moving to leadership positions and teacher training.  Today with my soulmate married for over 22 years and a loving son, achieving a National Award for teachers, I know there is more to come. My relationship with my aunt is ever so strong and sharing a recent photograph where she is beaming with love. 

Over the course of the years, many mentors walked in shaping my professional growth like Usha Bhatia Ma'am, Seema Sheikh Ma'am, and Sangeeta Gole to whom I will always be grateful. 

History has shown that every great thought leader, businessman, and scientist had mentors who inspired them to become the best version of themselves. How can anyone forget Lord Krishna being the ideal mentor in Arjuna's life helping him reflect on his actions and resolve deep-rooted fears, and belief systems, and take control of himself. In the battle of Kurukshetra, he showed the mirror to Arjuna, the best warrior,  saddled with conflicts preventing him from action and delivering. 

Take another example of Oprah Winfrey and Maya Angelou. 

Excerpts from Oprah.com

The woman Oprah calls mentor-mother-sister-friend offers wise words about the roots of confidence, the trouble with modesty and how to do the impossible. Since the moment I opened I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, I've felt deeply connected to Maya Angelou. With each page, her life seemed to mirror mine: In her early years she was raised by her grandmother in the South; as a young girl she was raped; and, like me, she grew up reciting what the church folks called little pieces—a few lines from the Bible that were usually delivered amid shouts and amens from the women fanning themselves in the front pews. Meeting Maya on those pages was like meeting myself in full. For the first time, as a young black girl, my experience was validated. And it still is, only now I sit at Maya's feet, beside her fireplace, hardly believing that, years after reading Caged Bird, she is my mentor and close friend. When we met in Baltimore more than 20 years ago, our bond was immediate. We talked as if we had known each other our entire lives; and throughout my twenties and in the years beyond, Maya brought clarity to my life lessons. Now we have what I call a mother-sister-friend relationship. She's the woman who can share my triumphs, chide me with hard truth and soothe me with words of comfort when I call her in my deepest pain.

The next question is obviously, how do I find this mentor? The Mentoring skills model given below helps us to identify the skills a mentor should have. It explains the skills both the mentors and mentees should display to achieve the maximum from a relationship. 

 

Do mentors walk that easily in life? Well yes and no. Yes, you will have to look and look hard. Sometimes, they are there in front of our eyes, but our busy schedules have prevented us from looking around or even focusing on building our future. 

No, when we feel we already know everything. Sometimes our egos blind us into believing we are already the best or we are too insecure to share that we need guidance. All I can say is that if I am growing, it is because I had great teachers and significant mentors.